


Conversation Hearts

by mountain_born



Series: The Marvelous Tale of an Agent, an Archer, and an Assassin [52]
Category: Doctor Who (2005), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crossover, Doctor Who/Avengers Crossover Fusion, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-04-05 23:40:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19050847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mountain_born/pseuds/mountain_born
Summary: It's Valentine's Day at SHIELD.  What better time to evaluate your teammate's love life?





	Conversation Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> A big shout out to my beta, **like-a-raven** who looked at the initial draft and said, “It’s not finished yet.” As always, she was right, and we got some fun insight into Steve Rogers as a result.
> 
> This fic initially worked its way in as just a quick way to establish where various people are on the board. But it wound up being a fun vehicle for character development and set-up for things to come. 
> 
> Thank you for stopping by, and happy reading!

_February 14, 2013_  
_SHIELD Headquarters_

“I actually think that went very well, given the circumstances,” River said as she and Clint walked across the SHIELD campus in a light snow. 

“‘Well’? Hell, I’d say we went the extra mile.” Clint grinned at her, an expression a bit at odds with the dark shadows under his eyes. “We were our own exhibit.”

River and Clint had just come from delivering a guest lecture to Agent Dunn’s trainee class on _The Necessity of Perseverance_. Or as Clint liked to put it, _Getting on with the job when you feel like shit and would rather do anything else_. 

The lecture had been scheduled weeks ago, but it had wound up being quite timely. Clint and River (along with Phil and Tony) had spent the last two days in Chile chasing down a cell of arms manufacturers who were experimenting with some highly illicit tech. It had been a relatively small job, not requiring the full complement of Avengers. Still, it had been boots on the ground as soon as they’d landed and they’d barely stopped for forty-eight hours. They’d only gotten back to HQ at 0900 hours. Clint and River had checked in with Medical, stopped by their quarters long enough to change clothes, and headed for the lecture hall.

Under the circumstances River knew that they could have backed out of the lecture with apologies, and no one would have held it against them. That would have felt like short-changing SHIELD for the sake of the Avengers, though. That idea hadn’t set well with either of them. 

A pair of SHIELD personnel looked curiously at her and Clint as they passed by on the sidewalk. They had come back from Chile a bit of a mess. River had a livid bruise across one cheek and three fingers on her left hand were taped up. Clint had a nasty scrape across his forehead. Moreover, he’d swapped his in-canal hearing aids out for his behind-the-ears set, which was not something he let the general SHIELD populace see all that often. And, of course, River knew they both looked completely knackered. She was looking forward to curling up in bed with her husband and passing out for a while. But first there was another basic need they had to address.

River and Clint drifted to a stop at a corner near the Administration Center. 

“Lunch,” Clint said. “Quarters or mess hall?”

“It’s the middle of the rush,” River said. “The place will be packed.”

“True.”

“On the other hand,” River continued, “the food in the mess hall cooks itself, and then the dishes go away.”

“Good point. So, mess hall?” Clint said.

“Mess hall.” River and Clint turned right.

The SHIELD mess hall was indeed bustling, and River was taken aback for a second to see that the room was festooned with paper hearts in various alarming shades of pink.

“Shit,” Clint said, blinking at the hearts. He turned to River. “So. Happy Valentine’s.”

River grinned tiredly. “I knew there was something I was forgetting about. That explains why Tony blasted out of here as soon as we landed saying something about Pepper.” 

Officially, Valentine’s Day was not a holiday that SHIELD made a big thing of, and yet borderline appalling decorations always just sort of happened. River craned her neck and could see another swath of pink at the dessert station. “Come on. I’ll buy you a cupcake.”

As they passed through the hot line River could see Agent Dunn’s class, which was taking over a stretch of long tables. They were talking and laughing boisterously. Clint followed her gaze and snorted. 

“I swear to God, the trainee classes get younger every year,” Clint said. “We’re going to look up one day and Fury will be recruiting from middle schools. It’ll be nothing but acne and braces as far as the eye can see.”

“I have to say, love, that’s a bit rich coming from the man who was one of SHIELD’s youngest ever recruits,” River replied, selecting a plate of chicken. “Nineteen, wasn’t it? They bent the recruitment regulations for you.”

“You beat that by a year.”

“Yes, but only on paper.” River’s official record said that she had been recruited at the age of eighteen. In reality she probably held the record of SHIELD’s _oldest_ new recruit, at least among field agents. 

River and Clint took the stairs up to the balcony area and found a table by the railing. The balcony was the best vantage point to keep tabs on all of the activity in the mess hall. It was a spot that Clint and River naturally gravitated to as spies.

“If I do a face plant into my lunch,” Clint said, “don’t wake me. Just turn my head so I don’t suffocate.”

“I’ll do that.”

River leaned back in her chair, took a drink from her mug of tea, and looked out over the mess hall proper. Some of her very earliest lessons with the Silence had involved people-watching. Good observation skills were the backbone of intelligence gathering. Some habits never died.

Agent Chu was still mooning over Kincaid from Plant Management. It looked like Dr. Stanwick was finally over her morning sickness; the poor woman had been living on broth and crackers for the last four months. Hill was at a table by the windows having lunch with a pair of suits; it was clearly a meeting, but not one sensitive enough to warrant a private dining room. Agent Singh, one of the lead trainers, had a cast on his right arm that hadn’t been there two days ago.

Her eyes drifted to the west end of the large room. “Now that’s interesting,” she said.

Cint looked up from his food. “What’s interesting?”

“Three o’clock. Table by the column.”

Skye, the Rising Tide hacker who had outed River and Clint as Avengers just a few months ago, was sitting there having an animated discussion with Grant Ward, Jemma Simmons and Leo Fitz. Unless River’s eyes deceived her, Ward was sitting possessively close to Skye. His arm was draped casually over the back of her chair and Skye was leaning into him a bit. 

Clint seemed to agree with her assessment. “Well, Ward seems to have her wrapped around his little finger,” he said dryly.

River cocked her head as she studied the pair. “I’m fairly sure that’s not the only thing he’s had her wrapped around.”

Clint made a choking sound. “Do you _mind?_ I’m eating.”

River grinned at him. “Sorry,” she said. “It’s not surprising, though. You saw him chatting her up her first week. I do wonder how she crossed paths with Fitz and Simmons.”

“Yeah, I kind of set that up,” Clint said. He shrugged when River turned a questioning look on him. “I mean, they’re all about the same age. Fitz and Simmons are nice. I figured the two of them would be good influences on her.”

“Look at you. Matchmaking the new kids.”

Cint snorted. “I was hoping she’d make better friends. I didn’t bank on Ward gaining more groupies.”

“Yeah.” River had never really shared Clint’s antipathy toward Grant Ward, but she also knew that Clint didn’t take a dislike to a person (even on a gut-instinct level) without reason. And judging by Fitz’s and Simmons’ body language, they were as taken with Ward as Skye was.

There wasn’t much to be done about it, though.

“So, speaking of Valentine’s Day,” River turned back to her husband, “I was thinking about introducing Steve to Kristen from Statistics. What do you think?”

*****

Clint actually froze for half a second as he reached for his glass of water.

“You want to fix Steve up with Kristen from Statistics?” he asked, trying to keep the note of _the fuck?_ out of his voice. 

No judgement against Kristen, of course. As far as Clint knew her (which wasn’t very far) she was a perfectly nice person. It was the idea of trying to fix Steve up with anyone that was weird.

“Not _fix up_ exactly. Just introduce them and see if anything comes of it.” River’s mouth curved into a wry smile. “And you think it’s a terrible idea.”

“No. Well, yeah.” Clint sat back in his chair. “What’s brought this on?”

“Nothing in particular,” River said. “I just worry about Steve, that’s all.”

“Why? You know something the rest of us don’t?” Clint asked, suddenly concerned.

Honestly, if something was up with Steve, River would probably be the first one to pick up on it. Ever since Demons Run, River and Steve had fallen into a groove that was very much like a brother and sister. Clint could see why. River and Steve had sort of grown up around the same time (though Steve had more than ten years on River). They had both experienced World War II, if in very different ways. They had references in common. Every now and then one of them would say, “Hey, do you remember. . .?” and they’d be off.

But River shook her head. “No. It’s just that he’s been out of the ice for over a year and he seems to have exactly two friends: Agent Triplett and Director Downing. Neither of whom is around all that much.”

“He has us,” Clint pointed out. “The Avengers.”

“He does, but we’re his team. We’re a part of his work. He needs something in his life that’s not work.”

“Like a girlfriend?”

“Or a boyfriend, if that’s his thing,” River said. “I must say, I haven’t quite worked that bit out yet.”

“Well, Phil’s the Captain America expert. I double dare you to ask.”

Clint had seen Cap’s old compass, the one with Peggy Carter’s picture inside the cover. That would seem to make a case for Steve going for the opposite sex. On the other hand, the 1940s had not exactly been the era of tolerance. And Steve had seemed to be closer to Bucky Barnes than anyone else on the planet, so who the fuck knew? Clint had never given it much thought before now because A) it wasn’t any of his business and B) it didn’t matter one way or the other.

“Yeah?” River looked speculative. “What do I get if I ask him?”

“I’ll take over laundry detail for a month.”

“You’re on.”

“You know, the question of teams aside, Steve may just not be ready,” Clint said. “He’s been through a lot. It could be a long time before he’s ready for something like that.”

Hell, Clint had seen the occasional female staff member or agent attempt to flirt with Steve. The overtures had flown over his head like an X-15. Whether that was because Steve was pretending to be oblivious or _actually_ oblivious, Clint couldn’t say. Either way the result was the same.

“I’m not proposing selling him off into marriage, just helping him meet some people.” River rested her elbows on the table and her chin on her interlaced hands. “You know, Steve came out of the ice not a day older than when he went in. Who knows if that was because of being frozen, or if he would not have aged regardless? If it’s the latter, who knows how long he might ultimately live?”

“Christ, I never thought of that,” Clint said.

“Right,” River replied. “Dealing with something like that alone? Well, that’s how you become a madman running around the Universe in a police call box. Even if his lifespan is normal, it’s not good for him to be alone.”

“Well, even with a normal lifespan, he has plenty of time,” Clint pointed out. “And in the meantime, he _does_ have the Avengers.”

*****

Phil had spotted Clint and River from down below and made his way upstairs to join them. He approached their table in time to catch the a few sentences of their conversation.

“Who has the Avengers?” he asked, setting down his lunch tray. He smothered a large yawn as he sat down beside River.

“Steve,” River said.

“River thinks he needs to date,” Clint added.

Maybe dragging himself to the mess hall for lunch hadn’t been the best idea. “Date?” Phil asked, looking at River.

“Yes,” she said, looking not even remotely fazed. “And Clint just raised a very good question. You don’t happen to know which team he bats for, do you?”

Phil stared at River for a long moment before turning to Clint. “Please make it stop,” he said.

“It’s cute how you think I have any control over any of this,” Clint replied.

River grinned at Clint as she raised her cup of tea. “Have fun with laundry detail, dear.”

Phil shook his head as he reached for the salt. “You’re both bonkers.”

“Yeah, that’s not exactly news,” Clint said. “We’re also tired and punchy.”

“Then you should be in your quarters resting,” Phil said. Time to be the handler, not the friend. Clint and River sucked at self-care sometimes. “You just came off a mission. There’s no reason why you couldn’t have skipped Agent Dunn’s thing.”

“You just came off the same mission,” River pointed out. “Why aren’t you in bed?”

“Me? You guys may be done, but I have reports to file. Also,” Phil added, aiming for nonchalance, “it’s Valentine’s Day and I wanted to catch Valerie on Skype.”

When he risked a glance at his agents, they were both grinning at him. But all Clint said was, “So, how’s Valerie?”

“She’s fine. In fact. . .” Phil pulled out his phone and thumbed to the appropriate email. “Meet the new recruit.”

Clint and River leaned over to watch the short video of a fluffy, floppy black puppy who was wriggling around on Valerie’s kitchen floor. Valerie’s voice could be heard faintly in the background. “Bingley, are you a happy boy? Good boy.”

“She adopted him over the weekend,” Phil said. “Apparently he was a Christmas present that someone dumped at the animal shelter when they realized that puppies are work.”

Clint snorted. “People suck. Not Valerie. But other people.”

Phil couldn’t quite stifle a smile. Clint’s tune on Valerie had definitely changed in a little under a year.

“You should go down for a visit soon,” River said.

“I plan to.”

“Maybe Steve should adopt a dog,” Clint said. When Phil and River looked at him, he shrugged. “I’m just saying, maybe he could start with a pet and work up to dating.”

“That’s honestly not a bad idea,” River said. 

“Guys, Steve will get his life figured out,” Phil said. “Just give him time. And don’t try to fix him up with anyone. Not for a while, anyway. Okay? River?”

River looked dubious, but nodded. “If you think it’s best.”

“I do.”

Phil would be as happy as anyone to see Cap making more connections with the world, but it wasn’t really the sort of thing you could plan. Not everyone ended up being as lucky as Clint and River. Hell, not everybody ended up being as lucky as Phil and Valerie. 

“Hey, guys,” a new voice cut in. “Mind if I join you?”

“Rogers.” Phil pasted his best _we absolutely weren’t just talking about your love life_ look on his face. “Not at all. Have a seat.”

*****

Steve had asked to be alerted when Coulson, River, Clint, and Stark returned to Headquarters.

He understood the rationale behind the roster for the Chile mission. Coulson was running the op, River and Clint were the specialists, and Stark was along to deal with potentially volatile experimental weapons. Steve’s presence on the mission would have been overkill and possibly led to exposure. He got that. But God, it had been a long two days. 

With half of his team gone, Thor off-planet, and Banner happily holed up and working in his lab at Stark Tower, Steve had been left feeling weirdly unsettled. It had taken him a little while to work out that he was bored and lonely. He was a scientifically-enhanced giant loose end. He’d gotten used to training and hanging out with Clint and River and checking in with Coulson when he was on base. It was all he could do to refrain from meeting their jet at the hanger when they’d landed this morning.

Steve took the seat next to Clint. “I saw you guys from down below,” he said. He picked up a stack of small pink boxes from the corner of his lunch tray and started passing them out. “They just put out a big basket of these. They let me take a few extra.”

“Conversation hearts.” River grinned at him. “Thanks, Steve.”

“You’re welcome. So, how did the mission go?”

River and Clint looked a little beat up, but otherwise cheerful. 

“The mission went fine,” River said. 

“Yeah, the arms ring has been broken up and we impounded some pretty cool stuff,” Clint added.

“I didn’t hear anything from Agent Lin while we were gone,” Coulson said. “I take it things were quiet while we were gone?”

“Too quiet,” Steve replied. It came out a little too fast. “I mean, there were no problems.”

“Do anything fun?” Clint asked.

“Trained, mostly.”

“Do anything fun?” Clint asked again.

Steve laughed. “Not really,” he admitted. 

Steve was starting to feel like “fun” was just not a thing he was good at. SHIELD sponsored all kinds of activities, meant to keep morale healthy and to let agents and staff from various departments mingle. There were club sports, service organizations, book clubs, and even a choir. Even the most serious workaholics at HQ seemed to be involved in at least one of them. But Steve had yet to find one that he gravitated toward. 

“Well, we should all do something this evening,” River said. 

Steve hesitated. “Aren’t you guys beat?”

“Oh, we’re completely exhausted,” River said. “We’ll definitely want a nap first. But later this evening we should do something.”

“Movie?” Clint suggested. “How about after dinner you swing over to our quarters. We’ll watch a movie and eat a bunch of junk food. You still haven’t seen _Indiana Jones_ yet. You and River can point out all the historical inaccuracies. It’ll be fun.”

“That sounds great, honestly.”

“Phil?” Clint said. “Are you in?”

For some reason, Coulson had a weird look on his face. If Steve had to describe it, he would have said it was somewhere between amused and proud. “Sure. I’ll be there.”  


“But wait.” Steve felt doubt creep in. “You guys probably have plans, don’t you? I don’t want to wreck your evening.”

River and Clint were still newlyweds. Of course they had plans for Valentine’s Day. 

“Steve,” River said. She handed a white candy heart across the table to him. Steve took it curiously.

_Best Pals._

Steve laughed.

“Okay. I’ll be there.”

**Author's Note:**

> Next up we begin a three-story arc based around the events of _Thor: Dark World._


End file.
